Table of Contents

Introduction and Resource Mention (00:00:00)
Emily introduces the podcast, welcomes listeners, and promotes the free "unlocking piece guide" resource.

Guest Introduction (00:00:52)
Emily welcomes Jesse, who introduces herself as a pediatric speech therapist and toddler mom.

Challenges of Early Communication (00:01:55)
Discussion about the challenges trauma-surviving parents face when decoding infant and toddler communication.

Importance of Baby Sign Language (00:03:04)
Jesse explains the benefits of using a few baby signs to reduce frustration before children can talk.

Managing Expectations for Toddler Communication (00:04:02)
Jesse discusses common unrealistic expectations parents have about toddlers' communication abilities.

Self-Criticism and Parental Learning (00:04:22)
Emily highlights how parents can be self-critical and forget they are learning alongside their children.

Understanding Toddler Speech Clarity (00:05:09)
Jesse shares that understanding only 50% of a two-year-old’s speech is normal and offers reassurance.

Modeling Language with Short Phrases (00:05:29)
Jesse recommends modeling language using short, simple phrases during daily routines to support language development.

Avoiding Baby Talk (00:09:43)
Both discuss the importance of using real words instead of baby talk, and how it benefits language learning.

Capturing Cute Language Moments (00:11:20)
Jesse suggests recording videos of children’s early speech and encourages celebrating these moments.

The Power of Wait Time (00:11:56)
Jesse’s top tip: after modeling language, give toddlers wait time to process and respond, supporting their confidence and development.

How to Connect with Jesse (00:14:29)
Jesse shares her Instagram handle and Facebook group for further support and resources.

Episode Wrap-Up (00:15:09)
Emily thanks Jesse, reminds listeners about the free guide, and closes the episode.

Supporting Toddler Language Development as a Trauma-Surviving Parent

Parenting is a journey filled with both joy and challenge, and for trauma-surviving parents, the early years—when children are just learning to communicate—can be especially complex. In a recent episode of the "Motherhood After Trauma" podcast, host Emily sat down with Jesse, a pediatric speech therapist and mother of two, to discuss actionable strategies for supporting toddler language development while navigating the unique triggers and pressures that trauma survivors often face.

This in-depth guide distills the expert advice and nuanced insights from their conversation, offering you practical, research-backed tips to foster your child’s communication skills—and your own confidence as a parent.

Understanding the Communication Challenges of Early Parenthood

For trauma-surviving parents, the uncertainty and unpredictability of early childhood communication can be especially triggering. Decoding a baby’s cries or a toddler’s unclear words often leads to self-doubt and frustration. As Jesse shares, “Being a parent to a baby or toddler is incredibly demanding and exhausting. Communication at this stage is tough because babies are figuring out how to express themselves, and parents are trying to interpret what they need.”

Key Insight:
It’s normal to feel overwhelmed and unsure. Both you and your child are learning together, and perfection is not the goal—connection is.

Tip 1: Introduce Baby Sign Language—But Keep It Simple

Why It Matters:
Before toddlers can speak, they often experience frustration when they can’t express their needs. Baby sign language bridges this gap, reducing meltdowns and empowering your child to communicate basic wants.

How to Implement:

• Start Small:
  Choose a few essential signs (e.g., “more,” “all done,” “milk,” “help”). Don’t overwhelm yourself or your child with too many at once.
• Consistency is Key:
  Use the signs every time you say the word. For example, sign “more” when offering another bite at mealtime.
• Model, Don’t Demand:
  Demonstrate the sign and say the word, but don’t force your child to imitate. Celebrate any attempt to communicate, whether it’s a sign, a sound, or a gesture.

Expert Insight:
Jesse emphasizes that even a handful of signs can make a significant difference in reducing frustration for both parent and child.

Tip 2: Set Realistic Expectations for Toddler Communication

Why It Matters:
Unrealistic expectations can lead to unnecessary stress and self-criticism. Understanding what’s typical for your child’s age helps you respond with patience and empathy.

What’s Normal?

• At age two, it’s typical to understand only about 50% of what your toddler says.
• Toddlers are still learning how to form words and sentences; mispronunciations and jumbled phrases are part of the process.

Actionable Advice:

• Remind Yourself:
  If you don’t understand your toddler half the time, you’re not failing—they’re right on track.
• Celebrate Attempts:
  Focus on effort, not perfection. Every attempt to communicate is progress.

Expert Insight:
Jesse notes, “Sometimes parents expect their toddlers to understand or say more than they actually can, which leads to frustration. It’s important to remind yourself that it’s okay if your toddler isn’t communicating perfectly yet.”

Tip 3: Model Language with Short, Simple Phrases

Why It Matters:
Toddlers learn language best when it’s presented in manageable chunks. Overly complex sentences can overwhelm them, while short phrases are easier to imitate and understand.

How to Implement:

• Use Two- or Three-Word Phrases:
  During daily routines, say things like “turn on water,” “all done,” or “take out bubbles.”
• Be Intentional:
  Focus on the words your child is most likely to need or use in the moment.
• Repeat Often:
  Repetition helps toddlers internalize new vocabulary.

Expert Insight:
Jesse recommends, “Modeling language and then giving them space to use it when they’re ready is one of my favorite tips.”

Tip 4: Avoid Baby Talk—Use Real Words, Even Big Ones

Why It Matters:
While “baby talk” can be cute, it may delay proper pronunciation and vocabulary development. Using correct words—even complex ones—sets a strong foundation for language skills.

How to Implement:

• Use Full Words:
  Say “water” instead of “wawa,” “excavator” instead of “diggy.”
• Don’t Underestimate Your Child:
  Toddlers are capable of learning big words, especially when they’re interested (e.g., names of vehicles, animals, or favorite foods).
• Model Correct Pronunciation:
  If your child says a word incorrectly, repeat it back correctly in a positive way.

Expert Insight:
Jesse shares, “If you say words incorrectly, your toddler will learn them that way too, and later you’ll have to correct them. So, I recommend always using the full, correct words, even if they seem tricky.”

Tip 5: Give Your Toddler Wait Time to Process and Respond

Why It Matters:
Toddlers need extra time to process language and formulate a response. Rushing to fill silences can rob them of the opportunity to practice and build confidence.

How to Implement:

• Pause After Speaking:
  After modeling a phrase, wait 5–10 seconds before prompting again.
• Embrace the Silence:
  It may feel awkward, but this “wait time” is when learning happens.
• Encourage, Don’t Pressure:
  If your child doesn’t respond, simply model the word again and move on.

Practical Example:
If you’re playing with a toy car, say, “Ready, set…” and pause. If your toddler says “go,” celebrate! If not, say it yourself and keep playing.

Expert Insight:
Jesse likens this to a teacher waiting for a student to answer: “That awkward silence can feel uncomfortable for adults, but for toddlers, it’s an important moment to build confidence and language skills.”

Celebrating Milestones and Managing Self-Criticism

Why It Matters:
Parenting through trauma can amplify self-doubt. It’s vital to recognize your efforts and celebrate your child’s progress, no matter how small.

Actionable Advice:

• Document the Journey:
  Capture your child’s adorable mispronunciations and first words on video—they’re fleeting milestones.
• Practice Self-Compassion:
  Remind yourself that you’re learning alongside your child. Mistakes are part of the process for both of you.
• Seek Support:
  Connect with other parents who understand your journey, whether online or in person.

Expert Insight:
Emily shares, “We forget that we’re learning alongside them, and that self-critical voice can be harsh.” Give yourself grace and celebrate the small wins.

Connect with Jessie and Find Community Support

You don’t have to navigate this journey alone. Jessie offers ongoing support and resources for parents:

• Instagram:
  Follow Jessie at @simply_speech_ for daily tips, strategies, and milestone information.
• Facebook Group:
  Join the free “Baby and Toddler Talk” group to ask questions and connect with other parents and professionals.

Final Thoughts

Supporting your toddler’s language development is a journey—one that’s filled with trial, error, and growth for both you and your child. By introducing simple signs, setting realistic expectations, modeling clear language, avoiding baby talk, and giving your child time to respond, you’re laying a strong foundation for communication and connection.

Remember, healing and parenting can happen side by side. You are not alone, and every small step you take matters.

About Jessie Kensey

Want to be a guest on Mamahood After Trauma? Send Emily Cleghorn a message on PodMatch, here